My name is David. I'm the guy that Chris has decided to allow to run the site during his absence. I use big words and complicated sentences, but I still manage not to sound like a nerd because no nerd kicks ass on the same level as me. I end up sounding more like your new god. If you refer to me as god you are a blasphemer because we all know that Steven Tyler is the one true god.

That was a longer introduction that usual, I know, but technically this whole article is my introduction so I can make it as long as I damn well please. In fact, I'm going to make it even longer just to spite those of you that thought it was too long. As Chris has already said, I kick all kinds of ass, physically, mentally, linguistically and emotionally. And to think, I used to be a little emo kid. That was before I saw the light and realized that Steven Tyler is god. After that, my life seemed much better and I stopped being such a whiny little bitch. Hahaha just kidding, I was never an emo or a whiny little bitch. You guys are stupid.

And now here I am to let out the same anger that used to make me a little pussy. Instead of hating myself, I now hate the world, well actually, I've always hated the world, and never hated myself, so nothing has really changed, but I still hate the world so I'm here to let you all know it. I'm just kidding, I don't hate the world. I just hate the people that inhabit it. The world itself is pretty damn cool, seeing as it homes god, his disciples, the SuperPope, and myself. I need a title. Anyone who has any ideas can email me. If not I'll probably just end up making one up.

So anyway, back to how I kick ass. It's pretty much apparent the minute you see me. I'm just awesome. I'm amazingly good looking, and I can outsmart most people. I'm also a runner, so not only do I sleep with women that are horny over my good looks, but I can also make it away before they wake up. That's pretty awesome, don't you think? Here's a picture of me so you can tell how awesome I am.