I'm Closing The Site My
Suicide Note
Last night, I was talking to someone who had read my site, and they told me that it was the biggest piece of shit that they had ever read. At first, this didn't phase me, but then I started to think. What if my site is poorly written? What if nobody cares about my opinions? What if I'm a complete asshole and nobody likes me?
The result of all that thinking was that I've decided to close the site down. I just don't see any point in running it. It's not as if it helps me in any way, it just makes people dislike me more. And it's not like it helps anyone else, because my opinions are poorly thought out and even if they were better, nobody would care. I really never should have started this site, it was just a waste of money. All that money, down the drain. Nobody likes my site, nobody likes me.
I've changed my mind. I'm not going to close my site. I'm going to leave it up so that everybody can see this: My suicide note. Since nobody likes me, why should I even bother to continue to live? My life sucks anyway. I mean, sure, I've got money any time I need it, I have a good family, some very loyal friends, but I don't think that's enough. For me to be truly happy, I would need to be dead, and that's what I'm going to do.
By the time you read this, I will have killed myself. I plan to overdose on Tylenol, just for the sake of irony. I mean, how ironic is it that I'm going to be killed by something that is supposed to get rid of pain? Well, this Tylenol is going to get rid of the horrible pain that is my life.
Many people will rejoice upon reading this, because, as I said, nobody likes me ( ignore the friends that I mentioned. My life sucks so much that I probably imagined them). Anybody who for some reason wants to read my opinions will still be able to read my archives.
All of my possessions will be left to my dog, because my hero is that lady that left her stuff to her cats instead of her family. I've lived my life as an asshole, why should I bother to end it any nicer? I'm going to hell anyway.
The title of SuperPope will be left to the next in line, my good friend, David Bourke. I'm sure he will run this site almost as well as I did, and that he will make you laugh. He will serve Steven Tyler as I did, and when he is ready to die, he too will give up the title to whoever he finds fit.
And to everybody else, I leave only my apologies. I was an asshole to you all, and I am fixing the problem with my death. I never meant to harm anyone. Except for those that I did mean to harm. But to the rest of you, I hope you all live on without me. I know it is hard, losing your SuperPope, but it needed to happen.
And to all those who actually believed this was for real, you are dumber than I could have ever expected. I've done a rant on suicide, I constantly talk about how great I am, the note is full of jokes, and the reason was complete bullshit. So for those of you that believed this, I ask only for your IP address, so that I can block you from accessing this site for good. Thank you, and goodbye.