The Gum

Well, I've pretty much recovered from whatever was killing me. My head felt like it would explode, my insides were burning, and my muscles were randomly locking and unlocking. I don't think it was the drink though. Stumpy didn't get sick at all.

But anyway, after all that, I wake up the next day, suck it up, and head out to my date. I usually don't do this, but I was doing my best friend a favor. So I was going out with one of her friends, a girl that we'll call Desperate, so that Desperate would do something for her. I really didnt want to, I was still in pain, but if anything I'm loyal, so I kept my promise.

The date started off pretty well. I brought along a pack of gum, it helped with the massive headache. I showed up at the local park to meet her and my jaw must have dropped. This girl was gorgeous. I don't think I'd ever seen anyone better looking. Long blonde hair, great body, cute face, this girl had it all.

So we headed off to get lunch, going to one of the restaurants along main street, a chinese restaurant. Now, like I said, this girl was gorgeous, so I didnt argue, but she must have ordered everything on the menu. Now, for those of you who have never had to pay for a meal, chinese food is not cheap. But, the girl was gorgeous, so I said what the hell and I paid for it all. I myself just ordered a soup. I never eat much on a date.

So after the restaurant we decided to head to the nearby forest. I know a spot up in the trees that has a lot of privacy. We went up there, and things were going pretty good. And finally, she was in my arms, her mouth attached to mine. 

We made out for about ten minutes straight. No bullshit. And when we came apart, she flung herself into my arms and we just sat there. After about 5 minutes, I started to feel a major pain in my head again. That's when I realised it. The bitch had stolen my gum. Usually this would be fine. But it was my last piece and my head was in a lot of pain. First, I tried to get it the nice way. I leaned in and tried to make out with her again.

Desperate: No, not right now. Let's just cuddle.

That was it. I was getting my gum back. 

Me: I need that gum.
Desperate: Um ok?

She pulled the gum out and broke it in two, a smile that usually would have been very sexy crossing her lips. 
But shit, I wanted my gum.

Me: No, all of it.
Desperate: Wow, somebodies greedy.
Me: No, somebody is in a lot of pain and wants his gum back!

After that she left.

Wonder why.