Shrimp Are Bad People
Most of you probably read that title and thought ' lol, theres nuthin wrong wit being short'. I say you probably thought that because most of you are retards. The title says Shrimp not Shrimps. I'm talking about the little bastards that taste good with some marinara sauce. 'Why?' you might ask. Well I'm going to explain it to you. That's why I'm making a rant about it. Dumbasses.
To start with, I'll go back to my younger years. Back when I was just a miniature version of the perfection that I now am. I used to eat shrimp all the time. My family would throw these big parties, because for some reason they wanted to know the people around them. Personally, I hated the parties, but I got to eat shrimp, so it made up for having to put up with people.
Back then I was just a stupid child, not realizing what I was doing, not knowing that these shrimp were actually evil little creatures. Now you're probably thinking ' well if there evi1 isnt eating them a gud thing?' but again, you are wrong. See, I don't exactly know why shrimp are evil, but I have definite evidence that they are. My body rejects them. The doctors are probably in on this conspiracy, as they tried to cover it up by calling it an 'allergy'. Of course, we all know that my body is far too perfect to be affected by an allergy. So, my evidence is that my body, in all it's perfection, realized the threat of the shrimp, and began to reject them in any way possible. I mean, would you really want these in your body?:
I didn't think so. Shrimp are just bad people. When they're alive, they sting or bite or pinch or do anything they can to cause pain. When they're dead, they attempt to assassinate ME from the inside. That's right, an attempt on the SuperPope's life. Unforgivable. That, my readers, is why shrimp are bad people.