60 Years of Musical Genius
Ok, maybe not really 60 years of musical genius. I'm sure he had to grow up a bit before starting to play. But the point of this article is that today Steven Tyler, our god, has been on this earth for 60 years. 60 years of complete awesomeness. And now, in celebration of his birthday, I have decided to make a dedication to him. To hell with Chuck Norris facts, here are my Steven Tyler facts:
Throat cancer is caused by an overload of awesome. Steven Tyler discovered this.
Steven Tyler has fathered approximately 666 children - this year.
Steven Tyler didn't recover from a drug addiction. The addiction fled his body.
Maddox once trashed Steven Tyler on his site. Angered, Steven Tyler took his skill and renamed him Phatweb.
Jim Morrison died because he angered Steven Tyler
Steven Tyler is what's keeping Keith Richards alive.
There are not more Aerosmith songs on Guitar Hero because women got wet upon hearing Steven Tyler sing.
Steven Tyler fathered Liv Tyler. Alone.
The Paul is Dead hoax was originally centered on Steven Tyler. John Lennon was killed as a result.
Steven Tyler has had sex with every woman on the planet and even a few on other planets.
60 years and still rocking. 60 years and still being a god of rock. 60 years and still leading the greatest band of all time. That's some impressive shit. If you don't worship this man, odds are your life has no meaning.